


Dorian can't handle the truth

by sarah_bae_maas



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-07 15:58:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16856998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarah_bae_maas/pseuds/sarah_bae_maas
Summary: posted feb 22, 2017





	Dorian can't handle the truth

Dorian didn’t know what to do.

Ever since he had been forced to leave his beloved country, had magic thrown onto him like the waves in a storm, reunited with his brother in arms, Dorian liked to think he’d had a semblance of control over what was going on. That he was _in_ control. That he knew what was happening.

_Dorian didn’t know what to do._

He pushed Abraxos in the side, the great Wyvern growling in return. Dorian could barely smell the forest between the ash in his nose and could barely see from the debris flying through the air and the tears clouding his eyes.

How could he do this? How could this have possibly happened? In this moment, or maybe it was when it happened, the war had never been as frightening, or as real, or as horrendous or atrocious or appalling or heartbreaking-

“Please, just _move,_ ” he sobbed as he begged the wyvern.

Abraxos was curled up delicately so as not to hurt what he was protecting, but Dorian couldn’t do the same. He couldn’t pretend nothing had happened and that they were safe and that all would be well.

Somewhere, trapped between the warm muscle of Abraxos, was the body of his rider and the woman Dorian loved.

Manon, who had only come back because he made Aelin and the others leave him behind. Manon, who he had grown to love with his whole being. Every crevice of his body was filled with the memory of her touch, and now all those memories were turning to same bitter ash that was filling his lungs every time he gasped.

Abraxos whined as Dorian shoved him again, baring his teeth but noncommittingly. Abraxos was as likely to hurt Dorian as the king was to hurt a child.

Eventually, Dorian just laid down by his side and cried into his leathery skin, letting the feel of the scales distract him from the pain that was tearing through him. It didn’t take long for Abraxos to shift his wings and huddle Dorian into his embrace as well. The king was, of course, the only other person who had ever been permitted to ride Abraxos.

Abraxos shifted and lifted his wing to snuggle Dorian in and protect him from the ash storm the way he was Manon.

Dorian, although appreciative of the gesture, was horrified when his body knocked against Manon’s. He had been trying to get her free of Abraxos – they had to get to safety and he wasn’t going to leave her alone.

How could he? How could he leave her to rot in this forest when all she had ever done was fight? He wanted to send her away with dignity, to mourn her with the others, but _fuck_ he didn’t even know how witches treated their dead. More than anything, he wanted the last hour to never have happened, to never have heard her scream his name as she was hurt and then whisper it again as she died.

“ _I never told you_ ,” She had whispered, _“but I love you. And I will love you in this life, and whatever comes afterwards, Dorian.”_

He turned to look at her now. Her golden eyes were still open and her hair was still shiny.

Another sob tore through him, and he reached out a warm hand to clasp her cold one.

In the distance, he could hear the battle cries of the enemy drawing near once again, and with curt realisation realised it was too late to flee. Aelin would be mad, Chaol would be furious – they had told him not to stay and that they had to leave. He assured them he would be okay, but in the back of his mind he knew that this day would likely be his last.

He moved his hands up Manon’s arms to cradle her face. He pressed her eyelids gently with his thumbs, closing her eyes and making it look like she was in a blissful sleep.

Next to his love wouldn’t be a bad way to die, and as Abraxos tightened his wrap and twitched as the enemy attacked them, Dorian closed his eyes with her and joined her in eternal rest.


End file.
